I was a full out lesbian going to school when I met my completly butch in the closet girlfriend. I promise if she wasnt gay then I could pass for Oprah and let me say I'm white as day. Well skipping forward we met, dated, and 6 months down the line got engaged.
One night while I was at my apt I got a text.
GF: Babe we need to talk...
Me: Alright, whats up?
GF: Would you stay with me no matter what?
Me: Yeah....why?
GF: I think I might be Transgendered...
From that night on my entire relationship with my newly found butch completly changed.
I can honestly say us spouses dont wake up single, go out and say, I wonder what cute FTM I can meet today. We just end up falling in love with one and not turning our back.
6 comments:
Hi,
I love this blog already! I met the love of my life, exactly one month after coming out as a lesbian. We met at a coffee shop, and literally fell in love immediately. Cheesy I know, but wonderfully true. We were married about two years later, and I had never imagined myself as happy as I was. And then, about 2.5 months later, my wonderful wife, came out as a trans guy. It has been about 7 months now, and I am now immersed in binders, and packers, and STPs, and hormones, and top surgery, and meta versus phalo plasty, and pronoun changes, and legal gender and name changes, and coming out to family, and work, and support groups oh my!! I love my husband, and could never imagine my life without him, but wow, has it been a crazy 7 months. I completely understand what you mean, I didn't set out looking for a FTM, and I certainly was not prepared for all of the "accessories" that come with, but every day is a new adventure, and even though we struggle sometimes, I would never turn my back on my husband, or our marriage. I cant wait to see you develop this blog. It is nice to hear someone else's thoughts on being in a similar position.
Thanks for starting this, we spouses need a forum, and to support each other.
My name is Courtney by the way.
Hey Courtney,
Sorry it's taken so long to respond, I was at work. Well first of I have to say THANK YOU, as you can see, the blog was going well and I was posting daily, just no one seemed interested in reading it. So I slowed the pace and just waited for someone to be like "hey thats me" I cant tell you how amazing it is to hear such a sucess story. So do you have any great stories from your expierence that I can put in the blog? Also how far along is he in his planning, therapy, pre-op, post op? Can't wait to hear from you.
Please feel free to drop a thought whenever, Like I said not alot of people know about this blog yet but hopefully it will grow.
Hey.. first off, do you have an online name that you feel comfortable using?
Anyway, please dont apologize, we all have lives! :) I know what you mean though, it was amazing to find your blog, and be able to see my story refelcted by someone else. This journey can be an isolating one at times. Of course I have my husband, but his journey and mine are very different, and its hard to explain it to anyone.
I can tell you that my husband is not one to take things slow, and once he has his mind set on something he generally gives it all that he has until he has exactly what he wants. So this transition has moved incredibly fast. He is now out to everyone, and has transitioned at work (thankfully his HR was amazing, and even held a training for the people on his team, so they could learn about the importance of pronouns, and getting the right name etc). He is out to both of our families, and all of our friends and I have told my bosses as well. He is living 100% of the time as a man. He is in therapy, we have scheduled top surgery, and are frantically saving for that. He is on weekly hormone injections, and has been for 5 months. Also, we have a lot of um... "accessories" if you know what I mean, to help him feel more passable. Thats where he is at the moment, its a lot to take in for me, but seeing him happy and confident is worth every bit of it.
As for stories... yeah we have quite a few! LOL, I will definitely post some if you like. Oh and if you ever want to talk more privately, please feel free to contact me via email, or look me up on facebook. I know first hand that there is always stuff that comes up that isnt exactly appropriate for the blog-o-sphere. Anyway, it was great to hear from you, and I will definitely post a funny story in another comment! I hope you had a good weekend.
Courtney
So here is that funny story I promised you... hopefully you find it as funny as we did...
So my dear hubby had just transitioned at work, like literally Monday of the week in question, and was a little apprehensive to use the main men's restroom, and so had been using an underused bathroom in the men's locker room at his work. But one day he got tired of traipsing to a whole different floor to pee, so he braced himself and walked into the men's restroom hoping to be alone, but walked in and saw one of his coworkers at the urinal. Embarassed, and unsure of himself he turned into the first stall, and closed the door as quickly as he could. When he finally looked at the toilet(he had to pee after all,) he was shocked to see it was about 6 inches shorter than the toilets in the ladies and locker room bathrooms. This being his first time in the men's restroom, he was unsure if there was some rule about the first stall being for short people, or for guys who wanted to STP but in a toilet and not a urinal. But he had already committed, so he didnt want to back out, and show his inexperience to his coworker, so he sat down and took care of business, even though the toilet hit him mid calf! When he was sure he was finally alone in the bathroom, he exited the stall, and peeked in the others to see if all of the toilets were wee or just the first one. It turned out they all were, why I have no idea, but they are. LOL, when he told me this story, I could just picture him in the bathroom staring at this mini toilet, trying to figure out what to do. And then puffing himself up to come out of the stall, and check the others. Anyway, not as funny as the runaway packer, but it still makes me laugh. :)
So Courtney I can offically say I was in bed doing my last few things, tucking in Danny, feeding the fish and reading my nightly emails when I saw "Courtney has resp..." when I jumped up and grabbed the laptop. In my case, It's so lonely to have no one to talk to about these daily events that happen. I know its lonely for Danny too. I have a random blog coming within the week that I already started but I think you inspired me to write one about where exactly Danny is in his process. He isnt as far as your hubby is but he is like a toddler who cant walk but wants to run. I swear some days I cant keep up. Um, but we live with his parents who are completely bible banging (Please excuse any expressions that may be upsetting I grew up Catholic and I mean no insults, if any hurt feelings contact me and Ill remove) anyways, bible thumping people. Seriously they started there church, its bad. Well were not even allowed to show pda in their house no rather tell them that their daughter wants to be Danny. It's such a complicated story that hopefully I can explain to you one day. So where do you guys live? How old are you two, what his name? Does he know about this blog? Well I think I'm going to stop asking questions and I'm going to explain myself in my next blog. I'm trying to get the feel for writing this blog. Honestly Im not one of those people who feel the need to tweet everyday or express myself in a long drawn out blog. Danny is my inspriration for this. I adventured out to find a place to find wives like me, yet there wasnt such place, so I had to make one myself and hope for the best.
Courtney feel free to call me Heather*.
I cant wait to hear from you agian. Until then, Have a great night.:)
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